THE ABSOLUTELY MOST HORRENDOUS, MOST TERRIBLE...WORST THING EVER EVER EVER, THAT I HAVE HEARD...AS A THERAPIST...

This has to be the Aftermat of the WORST DAY I HAVE EVER GONE THROUGH...I don't know, I have gone through some REALLY FUCKING BAD DAYS BEFORE...but you know what differed from those days and THIS ONE....after those days I felt better for the experience or the relief of living through it...today I just feel worse and more nauseated from what I had heard....okay let me back up...I am a therapist... a licensed psychologist.... and had a session with a client that is so disabled from a recent car accident we held our hour via web cam and Skype. I rarely do that, but he was a well paying client and I sensed that we were just about to reach a breakthrough and I didn't want to lose the momentmum. Okay side note. I am not a doctor, I was not forced to take an "OATH" for "DOCTOR/PATIENT PRIVILEGE" but it is severely understood that there is that right in the therapy world. I am NOT violating that right when I am talking in vague terms about a case and NOT mentioning names, NOR MY NAME, NOR THE PERSON'S NAME...so again, this person had had some severe trauma in his childhood and was ready to talk. But had prefaced in many sessions before that I would be like all the other shrinks and just shrug like there was nothing that could be done. First I must say here if that really happened(Which I am not surprised...We have some excellent Specialty Doctors but shitty Therapists...Life Coaches you know who you are) then I am mad at them for that, and second that is not taught in trustworthy schools as the approach to these cases. There is always something to be done. Anyways, he also thought I would stop treating him, and blame him for the mess. No, there is no culprit in cases like these. Anyways, enough building the suspense. He started to tell me about an older sibling that molested him when he was a young boy, did it for years to him and made him feel too ashamed to say anything about it, that it was his fault, he really wanted it. Years later when he knew better she denied it even happened calling him a liar. but she continued molesting from the age of about seven on til he was old enough to be able to stop her, he said he was about nine. Now that in of itself is sad, but this is not why I am posting this, this is a case I have dealt with before. What I am about to say next I have never dealt with before and have no confidants that would want to hear this so I have to turn to strangers and a secret blog to unburden my pain at the sheer horrific story that kept me sleepless last night and made me sick to my stomach. When he turned thirteen, or shortly thereafter one of his parents lost a job and it forced them into a smaller house, his brother and my client ended up sharing a room, and the parents cast off king sized bed, by that time his younger brother was just turning ten but was way smaller then my client was at that age. My client started to molest his younger brother, and of course the younger brother fought back. But my client was now thirteen and much stronger, so he eventually won out. He did this til he was fifteen. By then my client was so sickened of himself he could no longer look at himself in the mirror. He tried to commit suicide once. And had a sudden realization he didn't want to be that person anymore, he stopped molesting his brother. They were in separate rooms by then. But the damage was done. His now eleven year old brother turned and started to molest his nine year old little sister. My client said when he first walked in on them and yelled at his brother to stop it, his brother didn't even give him more than a passing glance before resuming the molesting. My client said he spent an entire day in the bathroom vomiting , screaming and crying. He tried to tell his parents, the police, and teachers. All about it, from what happened to him down to what his brother was doing to his little sister. No one believed him. My client is my age. I can remember they were just starting the programs of telling your teachers or policeman if your parents were hurting you but they didn't have the training for if siblings were hurting you. God I didn't know what to do. I usually wouldn't divulge this I have a whole separate blog for this but I wanted him to feel ease for what he went through. So I told him some personal truths just slightly changed and not really changed that much to help him not feel alone. I said my mother explained in NC-17 format what sex was when I was three and told me although it was how babies were made, it felt really really good. So at four when my best friend (a boy) named lee spent the night I coerced him into having sex with me. WhenI was five, I was the first to get chicken pox so all the mothers were sending their kids to come stay with me in the hopes they would catch from me. I was teaching them all about sex while they stayed over. My mother's boyfriend found out about this and yelled at them, said they were bad and sent them home. That day he bought me a pink dress and two dolls. He asked if he could brush my hair, and then started telling me how pretty I was and did I know what I was telling those boys? I said yes, and he asked if I could show him so I did, and he said could he show me, and that's when he started the raping business
I was raped over two years time. I told my mother once and she called me a liar. she thought he was a great dad to me.
But once...on a mere chance her car broke down and she spent two hours getting fixed and her boss cancelled her shift at the restaurant so she came home and saw I wasn't lying...we never talked about it. But I grew up thinking that boys would love you if you had sex with them...I told him that I told a guy I would beat him up if wouldn't have sex with me, but that part was a lie. And that was it. I told him that the real person that should've been hauled through and tarred and feathered is the person who started the molesting business whoever molested his sister. And it was a shame that the whole family was torn apart now. I told him to get angry, he had every right. And to feel sickened at the mess that the person who started it all, and he has every right to carry this with him for however long it takes before he can put it behind him. But then I said...But you're an *Insert ARTISTIC GIFT HERE* How can you go forward with your craft and make your *INSERT ARTISTIC GIFT HERE* further if your always looking back at that mess behind you, one day you have to drop that burden to grab ahold of your future. I know you will though, but not until your ready.
I feel really honored you shared this with me...
And then....I closed the session grabbed my wastebasket and puked...
God I lied!!! I LIED!!! ALL to WHAT!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF THERAPIST AM I<>

OKAY SERIOUSLY GUYS ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY EVEN IF ITS" WOW! I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO THIS....OR WOW THIS GUY IS FUCKED UP, OR YOU LIED TO HIM...OR DON'T BE SO HARD ON HIM..>>OR YOU SHOULD RETIRE..>>ANY COMMENTS YOU HAVE I WOULD APPRECIATE INSULTS EVEN RIGHT NOW....I JUST NEED TO HEAR WHAT SOMEONE ELSE THINKS.....*SIGH* THIS IS JUST TEARING ME UP INSIDE!!!