Sunday, March 29, 2009

I'm Going to Jail For My Grandmother SO I WON'T SAY THOSE DEADLY WORDS...and A KILLER NEW SERIES I FOUND "BREAKING BAD"

Have you ever reached a point in your life where the heroes you believed your parents(or in my case primary caregivers) were, were actually not that great at all? They were in actuality childish, less educated than you, and well liars?
I reached that stage when I was seventeen when I caught my Grandmother in a stupid petty lie. That did nothing but try and make her look better. Ever since then every story she's ever told me growing up has changed. The fish has gotten bigger, just because I've accomplished more in life than she had, became a greater educated person, turned out to be a genius AND made non of the mistakes she did...which I kinda sorta thought was the point of her lessons when I was growing up. But suddenly she went from having only a G.E.D. she quite proud of getting told to me when I was in high school. To attending some college class told to me when I was a sophmore in college. To an outrageous "I have an associates" now told since I have my master's and practice. Also everytime I start a sentence (Note to self: Stop using that sentence opener) with, "DId you know...?" even though I know full well she doesn't she says she does just to sound like she's up on that sort of news. Even if it was about something she knows nothing about nor cares about...like computers. I even scolded her once outright, "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS, why do you have to be a KNow-It All" Her response was, "Well why do you?" Ugh, she the perfect 72 y,o, toddler I never wanted. Okay well enough whining....

I am writing a novel now, I had made quite a bit of money through my practice so that I could semi-retire for a while which everyone says I should travel. But really it's not that easy. I retired to take care of my Grandmother(aww yes how sweet, I regret taking on this task alone everyday) anyways, I help take care of the bills and help her around with stuff cuz of her debilitating arthritis and it gives me loads of time to work on my dream. Writing a book. My first dream job and reason I got into psychology was to become a criminal profiler. I passed the written FBI test but not psych. evaul. Yes apparently they think a bipolar is more apt to pull a trigger then anyone else. Oh well. But I have a gift, a knack for seeing the truth written in people's expressions, and hearing what people are really saying in their voice tones, added with body language and an ability to attrack psychos to me(seriously I don't know how many I've dated before I learned to spot those fuckers a mile away) and just some hunch like ability to feel out a situation. And I can get to the bottom of any situation fast. So I turned to reading up on a lot of the above named subjects. And then got into texts on Criminal profiling And the disordered mind. Now I am writing a Psychological Horror about a Female Sociopath who is killing like a psychopath...weird I know but stay with me. She kills like a psychopath because she is drawn by a lust to perform an act. She doesn't have a method or MO because she doesn't want to get caught, she doesn't want notoriarty, unusual for them I know. But in her mind she is a hero. Anyways she is a sociopath because she can expertly and without any red flags or bells going off, blend in with society, even be seen as a people person and loving towards others. IT's great.
That's all I am saying but I get more and more excited with the feedback I am getting(from other writers) and more and more hopeful with each refinement I do. I am realistic though I know it will get rejected 100 or 1000 times before someone accepts it, but yes I am excited. Anyways the point is, someone turned me on to this series called "Breaking Bad" It's a t.v. series on AMC but the previous episodes are on MEGAVIDEO.COM start with breaking bad 101 in the search bar and go from there, that's what I am doing. It's about a chemistry teacher that is total poster child for Murphys Law, ends up with End Stage Lung Cancer, no hope really so he begins so worry after his family and how they'll get by after his death, and decides to cook and sell Crystal Meth to solve that dilemma. HELL ENSUES!!!
I get crazy ideas from the unique deaths that happen on there. And Just watching the drama inspires me to want to write in a weird way. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH IT<>
OKAY DONE WITH MY TIRADE-
PEACE LOVE AND CHICKEN GREASE!!!

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